Archive for the ‘Free Range Flychology’ Category

The Only First Date You’ll Ever Need by @TheFlychologist

Posted: April 27, 2014 in Free Range Flychology
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First and foremost, I’m not going to debate who should pay on dates.Women want it both ways nowadays which is ridiculous as is all women logic.They want to be independent until the check comes then they want a man to take the charge…literally. This was a free range speech I gave for gentlemen who pay for dates. Why? Cause they’re gentlemen. Now without further ado, lets get into it.

One of the worst feelings you can ever have is feeling like you’ve been used. You put yourself out there and got taken advantage of. It sucks, especially when you actually invested a lot into it. When you’re single,dating,and want to make a good impression on a first date we tend to pull out all the stops. We buy new clothes,try to pick the perfect restaurant, and nice activities for after dinner so you can create the perfect night and you do.Then it happens, while you were patting yourself on the back for pulling off the greatest first date you ever created and plotting the perfect follow up date, you don’t even realize your text aren’t being replied to, your phone calls aren’t being answered, you’re voice mails aren’t being returned, and your comment on her instagram selfie got ignored. When you finally do get in contact it’s either cause she wants you to take her on another nice date or she’s just tired of ignoring all your attempts to connect with her so she gives you some reason why you and her isn’t going to work out. All you can think about is when did she decide that this wasn’t going to work out? Before or after she knocked back the three Patron’ margaritas and ordered the surf n turf with extra surf that she ended up taking home? Before or after you took her to the Kevin Hart show? Don’t stress yourself trying to figure out why someone doesn’t like you, it’s unhealthy and you’ll probably never know. What you do know is that you just sponsored an extravagant night for someone that you hoped would be in your life that you may never interact with again. That’s a horrible return on investment, you just flushed money down the toilet. You took a big risk and it didn’t work out. That’s life, it happens like that sometimes. Now let me show you how to not make it happen.

Date levels

See the problem is that the dating spectrum has been completely thrown out of wack due to high levels of competition. Centuries on top of centuries of men trying to one up each other for women has gotten us to this point,leading off with extravagance. We’re starting at the ass end of the spectrum, we should be saving those types of dates for the long terms and committeds. Wives should be getting extravagant dates, fiances too I guess, not some chick you just met and want to impress that hasn’t done anything to deserve some extravagant outing from you. Here’s what the chick you just met deserves, coffee or ice cream. Why coffee or ice cream? Easy,they’re both simple,quick,and most important of all,inexpensive. You meet a woman for alcoholic drinks and she’ll be three Long Island Ice Teas in before she gives you some reason why she’s not going to have sex with you and if she reaches for the tab its so she can instagram it after you already paid it to show her friends how she’s living. No chick is drinking three cups of coffee and if they did it would still cost less than one alcoholic drink. Same goes for ice cream,that chick who wanted to get you for the surf n turf with extra surf is not running through more than two bowls of ice cream. When you take a woman out for coffee or ice cream you also cut out all the excess time of a date. No waiting for a table or food to be prepared or flagging down a waiter for the check, just in and out if need be. With all the extra out of the way you can actually focus on getting to know what your date is about mentally. No plate of food to hide behind,no waiter interrupting every five minutes,just conversation. One thing the coffee and ice cream date also does is take the edge off most people and relieves some of the tension and anxiety that traditional first dates have. It creates a more relaxed environment to just hang out and talk,isn’t that what a date supposed to be about?

The possibilities of the coffee or ice cream date are endless. You can decide if she’s someone you would want to do more with or just go your separate ways. Even if you two go your separate ways and you never see her again, the damage to your finances is a cup of coffee or a bowl of ice cream. Way better investment than a three course meal at a nice restaurant. Another great thing about this kind of date is that it will also help you weed out who’s worthy and who’s not worthy of being taken out. I’ve tried to use this date on multiple women and a ridiculously high number said yes to going out but turned around and said no or backed out once they found out the choice was either coffee or ice cream. One even told me that it’s a cheap date and she’s not a cheap date kind of girl.Could you imagine if I did end up doing something more expensive with her only to find out she’s ungrateful and egotistical as she stuffs her face full of jumbo shrimp on my dime? I’d be disgusted. I wouldn’t want to have dealings with a chick that thinks she’s too good for a coffee or ice cream date and apparently no one else does either cause that girl is still single,hoping for that white knight to come. How people react to things lets you know a lot about them and a woman’s reaction to this kind of date will let you know a lot. So before you go sponsoring meals fit for a queen and getting yourself saved as “free food” in a bunch of ladies phones,dial it back to the beginning of the dating spectrum and start simple. Save that money for when you do connect with someone who’s done something to deserve you pulling out all the stops.

Flychologist out.
#Love#Kiss#NewYears

Let The Older Gods Put You On by @TheFlychologist

Posted: April 13, 2014 in Appreciation, Free Range Flychology
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There’s an old African proverb that says when an old man dies, a library burns to the ground. Which is true cause old people have a lifetime of knowledge stored away but odds are unless you know the right buttons to push to unlock the hidden knowledge,they’re going to hit you with some inspirational quotes to keep you prospering. There’s nothing wrong with that though, we all need deep and positive quotes in our life but there’s a lot of gems in the knowledge that most old people never really share. While chilling at a wedding with an open bar I got to shoot the breeze with some older liquored up married men and pick their brains for their dating knowledge since they don’t need it anymore.Here’s what they had to say.

1. Don’t be afraid to tell a woman that you like her. Woman need to hear it. Even if you casually or jokingly slip it in there. Just make sure you’re looking her in the eyes when you say it and I guarantee the whole dynamic of the conversation and how she acts will change.

2. Randomly observe any woman for a few minutes and count how many times she checks her phone. Think about that the next time a woman tells you she didn’t see your text or call.

3. If you ask a women out ,YOU PAY. THE END. Don’t be childish and if you paying the bill is that big of a deal then don’t ask anyone out in the first place. You could always offer to cook a meal if you don’t want to spend that much money.

4. If a woman won’t eat with you then she won’t do anything with you . A women is going to eat at least three times a day,seven days a week. If she won’t do it one time with you then you’re wasting your time. Move on.

5. When you ask a woman out, don’t ever give an exact day and time. They might not be available then and it might come off like you got turned down. Just ask her would she like to do something sometime, if she says yes then let her tell you when is a good time on her schedule. Unless it’s an event or something,leave the window open.

6. If you ask a woman out and she asks where or what are you guys going to do before saying yes just make up an excuse to get out of it right then and there. If a woman wants to do something with you she’s not going to ask where or what you two are going to do before cause all that will get figured out when the time comes. When a women asks where or what are we going to do, it’s no longer about you. You aren’t selling yourself anymore, now you’re selling the place you plan on taking her. She’s saying “I don’t like you that much but i’ll go somewhere with you if I really want to go to the place you want to take me.”

7. Don’t take dick pictures, EVER. Don’t be afraid to show your dick to a woman if she wants to see it though. Just make sure no one else is around and you’re good. Lots of good things happen when a women and a dick meet in private

The Worst Curves by @TheFlychologist

Posted: February 21, 2014 in Free Range Flychology
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Way too many people live their lives in fear of being curved. You can’t do that. You can’t let being curved decide what you do and don’t do. Life’s rough and you will be rejected more times than you can remember and there’s not much you can do about it. Jesus got rejected, Martin Luther the King got rejected,even Michael Jackson got rejected. You are not the exception, the social part of life is all about how you sell yourself to the world. Not everyone is going to buy what you’re selling ,but as a great salesman once told me “You gotta get the rejections out the way to get to the receptions. It’s a numbers game, the more hands you shake, the more money you make.” Most of the time we blow minimal curves out of proportion, especially when it comes to trying to get women. Why? I don’t know. You’re a man trying to get sex from a woman, it’s what you where designed to do. Never feel bad about that, it’s all part of the game. The next time you think some chick telling you no is the end of the world take a look at this list and realize that no isn’t the worst thing you can hear. So in no particular order, I give you the worst of the curves.

The Laugh In Your Face Curve– The cold approach takes a bit of courage or an insufficient number of fucks. It’s one of the few things in life where you don’t always get out of it what you put into it. It can really mess up your psych if you let it, but you miss one-hundred percent of the shots you don’t take. A dice roll is going to be a dice roll, no matter how hard you blow on the dice or how long you shake the dice, but if you don’t roll them then you’ll never know. But what if you roll the dice and it goes horribly wrong? So wrong that it makes you regret the whole thing. That’s the laugh in your face curve. Now there’s three different types of laughing in your face curves.

1. The your pickup line was funny – Now this isn’t bad. You opened with a light joke to get her laughing. Might have been super corny, might have been something she’s never heard before, she might just be goofy. Whatever it is, just capitalize on it and make it happen.

2. The boy quit playing – She didn’t take what you said serious at all but she’s not completely shutting you down, just your offer. Feel free to try again with something better, if that’s your thing. She could just be playing hard to get.

3. The nigga you can’t be serious – This that shit that make your soul burn slow. This chick is clowning you for even thinking you had a shot with her. PROTIP : If this ever happens to you just cover your nose with your finger, make a stink face and say “Oooh never mind. ” That’ll humble a chick up real quick.

Now the first two aren’t that bad but that third one can be deadly. You have to read that laugh accordingly so you know how to make your next move. You get them mixed up and you’ll end up staying when you should have left and leaving when you should have stayed. She could be laughing with you, but then again she could be laughing at you. Learn the difference. 

The Ignoring Of Your Whole Essence Curve – There’s two types of dudes in the world, those not afraid to cold approach a woman they don’t know and those that are afraid to. If you’re a shook one all I can tell you is grow up cause you’re just setting yourself up for a future lost but that’s a completely different blog. If you aren’t a shook one and you are out there doing your thing then you’ve come across the ignoring of your whole essence a few times. Most likely around club and party nights cause most womens defenses are on alert level red. I understand that but damn, who doesn’t respond to a hi or hello? That’s just what decent human beings do out of common courtesy.She just acted like you wasn’t even there. Now you “Ma with the ghetto booty! Lightskin, lightskin in the red with the fat ass, I know you hear me light-bright” ass dudes are on your own. No chick worth a damn should be responding to that anyway but for us dudes who didn’t come at a women like a savage to straight be ignored is just rough. Especially if you see a dude who did come at her like a savage not get his whole essence ignored.

Pushed Into The Friendzone Curved – First off, let’s not pretend the friendzone isn’t a curve cause it is. It’s the equivalent of being put in a cage and let out when you can be of use. Congratulations, you’re a pokemon homie. Now no women is ever going to come out and say “I don’t like you like that so you’re going in my friendzone poke-ball for times when I can’t get dudes I do like like that to give me any attention.” That’s not how they work so you end up being ambushed and pushed into the friendzone. You thought you were in the clear, you got the number/Twitter/Instagram/Kik or whatever new app the cool kids are using nowadays. You two chatting back and forth, you got invited over to “watch a movie” friday night. You’re pulling out all the stops, you’re diddy bopping around your house, practicing your go to sex positions in the mirror, and stretching like you’re about to run the forty yard dash. You show up at her place with the aura of Big Daddy Kane in ’89…….only to find out that she really just wanted to watch a movie. Now you’re sitting there tight, fresh to death, watching some unfunny black comedians low budget movie side-eying some broad in her pajamas who is perfectly fine with the three feet of space between you and her on the couch. You could be out somewhere, anywhere in the world, but you here getting curved. Don’t feel bad, if you haven’t lived through that at least once then you haven’t lived at all.

Curved By A Chick Who Becomes A Lesbian – You’ve been working on this chick for a good while now. You’ve been slowly breaking her wall down so you can get to the important wall. The pace you’re working at it could go down any day now….any day now. You’re just waiting for THIS new flavor of the month dude to mess it up and give you another attempt to slide in. Then like clockwork the other dude messes up and you grease yourself up to slide right in, but not too early that you come off as a dude that cares cause that’s how you put yourself in the friendzone. So you fall back and let her homegirls do all the emotional heavy lifting of getting over the other dude. You just put your bid in and let her know you’re serious about her and ready whenever she’s ready. Nothing changes, you took your shot and she dodged it like Neo in the matrix. You fall back to regroup and re-plan before some new flavor of the month slides in there, but something just isn’t right about her now. She’s acting erratic, she’s going out, but not to her normal hangout spots and not with her regular friends. Even they’re confused about what’s going on. The rumors are flying around, her and some new chick friend have been hanging out….A LOT. You’re living in denial cause she’s been dealing with dudes as long as you’ve known her so you’ll believe it when you see it. Then you see it, her being lead around like a puppy by some chick dressed like a rapper from the 90’s who’s looking like she wants to square up with you for hugging her girl too long but she daps you up anyway after the chick introduces you as her homeboy. Now you’ve seen it and you’re sick and irate at the same damn time. All that quality box just gone to waste. You don’t even know who to blame for it. The last dude for for ruining it everyone with a penis? The chick who curved you to play a home game? Her chief keef looking life partner? Don’t blame anyone, you just have to write it off and live your life.

Curved By A Known Hoe – How can you not get this? You know for a fact that she smashed the homies. Everybody hit it, Ronnie ,Bobby, Ricky, and Mike, Chris, Mark, Red, Dave, and Ro. Ro got halitosis and still lives his mother yet here he is showing you a two minute cellphone video of him hitting her with the dougie like Cam in Paid In Full. Once again, HOW CAN YOU NOT GET THIS?…Holy shit. You didn’t get it? Seriously? Everybody had it, how did you not get it? All you were trying to do was get a quick W to offset all the other curves you’ve been taking and give you some momentum but you got curved by a chick that curves no one…except you. Now you feel even worse than you did deciding that you were going to add your name to the Vietnam Wall inside her vagina. You can try to figure out why not you but everyone else. You can even ask her why not you.You can even let her know that you know that she gave it up to every dude on your Facebook friends list but why? All you’re gonna do is create unnecessary drama for your peoples and still not get any. Just take the loss and hope no one ever hears about you failing to slam dunk on a seven foot rim.

Curved To Be Another Dudes Side chick – This is the holy grail of curves I don’t care what anyone says. This will send your anger level then your sadness levels through the roof. It’ll change the way you look and feel about things. Before this went down you thought Drake was soft and only made soft music for chicks and Joe Budden was a clown. Now their discographies are taking up all the space on your IPOD. This will have you staring outside your window into the distance on the first day of spring wondering should you even go outside. This will having you swinging at air like Tre in Boyz N The Hood. Here you are trying to make this girl your queen and she’s turning it down to be some dudes bed-wench. You can’t even deal with that without getting angry. You offering her a nice night out on the town and she’s turning it down to sit home and hope dude swings through with some McDonald’s after his girl gets busy or text her when his girl goes to sleep. She’s choosing a dude she can’t even be seen in public with over you who she could do anything with at anytime. This must be how Harriet Tubman felt when she was trying to free slaves and they would tell her “Nah, I’m good.” I’m getting angry just speaking on it and I haven’t even been through it. This will have you questioning if this relationship thing is even for you.

 

Yeah so there you have it. The worst of the women curves. Next time you’re out there living your life and you get worried about a chick curving you, remember this list and remember that her saying no is not the worst thing that can happen.

People You Shouldn’t Be Taking Seriously in 2014 by @TheFlychologist

Posted: January 21, 2014 in Free Range Flychology
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Everybody knows the saying that you can’t judge a book by its cover but let’s be honest, if you saw a group of bald white guys coming towards you I’m pretty sure the last thing on your mind is they might be a cancer support group. If you walked into a trigonometry class and the professor was Gucci Mane I’m pretty sure you’d check to see if you or him were in the right class. We all judge by covers until we know more info, that’s why the fashion industry is a trillion dollar business and book covers have quotes of people co-signing the book on the back. You’re only human and that means time is finite for you as in you really don’t have any to waste. So to save you some time, let me tell you some books you can judge off the cover because they’ll be a terrible read trust me.

1.Women with claw nails/extra long nails– I don’t know where this trend came from but it can go back there on the midnight train or red eye it don’t really matter to me. Nails that look like claws don’t make you sexy or animal like, they make you look like a witch. No one likes witches and no one is ever introducing their mother to witch. Well no one smart at least. Claw nails don’t get invited to family dinners.

2.People with neck/face tattoos– Yeah we know you want your homie lil’ JuJu to rest in peace but there is classier ways of doing that. Yeah Mike Tyson and Gucci Mane have face tats (both certified crazy too), but they’re celebrity millionaires. You, are Jerome the backup forklift driver at a warehouse. In prison, the only people whoever got face tattoos were prisoners that had life without the possibility of parole sentences. That should tell you something, especially if you’re free and out in the world.

3.Million Dollar Plan Tellers– If you had a winning lottery ticket would you tell everybody? Of course not, so why would you take someone serious who’s rambling on about their million dollar idea to you? Unless it’s patented, trademarked, or they want you to invest in it, no one serious about it is going to hand you a million dollar idea on a platter to run away with. Most people won’t tell you it’s going to make money until it’s already making money. If someone tells you “Man once (insert plan here) happens, I’m gonna be making all types of money”,just nod your head and say “True” like you 2 chainz cause odds are that plan will never happen unless some really opportunistic person steals it.

Disclaimer: TheFlychologist.com does not condone the stealing of ideas and million dollar plans but if you do, at least cut the person you stole it from in on some of the profits as a thank you gesture.

4.Women who quote Marilyn Monroe-Marilyn Monroe was a drug addicted hoe and home-wrecker. This is fact. She said a lot of bullshit to make herself feel good about being a drug addicted hoe and home-wrecker and make people feel bad for knowing she was a drug addicted hoe and home-wrecker. Any woman quoting her nowadays is single or a serial dater because they use those shitty quotes to justify their shitty behavior, just like Marilyn Monroe. No one should have to “handle you at your worst”, bitch are you a special needs child? No. You are a grown ass woman so act like it and take some responsibility for being a shitty person.

5.Habitual Liars– This one is as simple as it gets. When people lie they start digging a hole. The size of the hole depends on the size of the lie. That doesn’t matter with habitual liars cause they’re always digging themselves deeper. You can hang around to see them digging this hole to nowhere or you can acknowledge that it’s gonna be a hole to nowhere and move on with your life. The longer you stay around a habitual liar, the bigger the chance that your name will make a guest appearance in some of their lies and get your good name dragged down by association. You have to dap people like that and keep it moving cause you’ll never know what’s actually real and whats not messing with them.

 

So there you have it. I’m sure that there is someone out there that is one of these things but is a really good person, but the other 99.9 percent of them are not to be taken seriously. Me personally, I don’t have the time to sift through trash to find a diamond but if you do then more power to you and God bless your heart. Flychologist out. #Love #Kiss #NewYears

No new feelings no, no, no.

Posted: September 17, 2013 in Free Range Flychology
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A few of the things I hear a lot while doing my flychologist thing, is that when it comes to relationships gone wrong “He/She caught feelings,” “We weren’t really together,” “They started wanting to get serious,” and ” It got weird.” That level of jibber jabber only used to come out the mouths of players, but now it’s even women speaking this nonsense. First off, it needs to be said that no one should take someone catching feelings for them for granted, that’s why I called it jibber jabber. I don’t think you guys and girls realize how stupid you sound when you say that bullshit. You’re basically saying “Somebody actually enjoyed everything about me, not just the physical parts, so I got as far away from them as possible to try and find someone who just wants the physical.” It translates into “I just want to be a hoe and they were trying to tie me down.” Now you understand why it sounds especially bad when women say it. As for men, boys will be boys, you know its a infamous double standard and all.

Anyways let us dig deeper into why feelings get caught in situations where they aren’t supposed to. Actually lets not because it’s really not that complicated. Feelings will always be there. You can’t have physical relations void of any feelings because it doesn’t get anymore ‘feelable’ than one body going into another body. But how do you keep the feeling levels from jumping to catastrophic levels? Simple, don’t do shit that brings about emotional feelings. Right now you’re saying to yourself “no shit bruh, we know that” and you probably do. But do you know what brings out emotional feelings outside of the obvious? Oh you don’t? Well let me learn you right quick.

Unnecessary Touching – When relationships go south you always miss the other persons touch, but this ain’t one of those types of ‘ships though. This is friends with benefits, you two should be dapping each other up like yourl team just won a game of pick up basketball in the park against some young kids who were calling y’all old. None of those lingering hugs where perfume and body essences can be smelled and remembered. Save that for the sex, friends with benefits should be high fiving.
Unnecessary Time Together – You two shouldn’t be spending anytime together outside of having sex together. Shit makes memories and memories makes feelings. You know what you call two people that have had sex and go out to places with each other? A date. Yes a date and I don’t think I need to explain why dates are bad when you’re trying to just be friends with ‘fits. You two should be leading completely seperate lives outside of the whole sex thing. You going the same place? Meet each other there or get head on the drive there to keep it about the sex. You don’t need no memories of you two jamming to the radio in the whip. Yeah I know gas cost more than your car payment but so what? Catching feelings can cost way more than gas.

Sharing – Picture this. After that long passionate sex bout with your friend with ‘fits. You need to replenish some electrolytes and rehydrate. So you roll to the fridge and grab a water/soda/ gatorade, etc. Then you come back to the room gulping it down as your also thirsty friend with ‘fits looks at you and reaches for your drink and you pass it to them like two alcoholics sharing a forty ounce. No,No,No. Sharing shit creates a bridge of feelings you don’t need. I still remember the names of people I shared popsicles with in 1st grade. You only got one bottle of whatever? Drink that shit in the kitchen and roll back to the room with a glass of tap water. Apply the same policy to food if it comes into play. Don’t split ANYTHING. Yeah that large fries is enough for two, but you really don’t need any lady and the tramp moments. Save those shits for real love.

Calls and Texting – This gets more people caught up then they realize. If you’re texting back and forth everyday, all week, you’re deeper in it then you want to believe. You think you’re just gonna send memes all day and put smiles on the other persons face and it ain’t gonna have any effect? You are fooling yourself straight up. First off, if you’re in constant contact with your friends with benefits everyday all week then congratulations on being in an unofficial relationship. Only boyfriends and girlfriends check in everyday. Your friend with ‘fits should be batman and your text should be the bat signal. You should put it out there and hope they respond to it. No long drawn out message, just one word answers. Usually the word is something like “sex?” or “tonight?” and the response should either be “yes” followed by a time and location or a “can’t”. Can’t should always be used in place of a no because can’t sounds more friendly. Never ask why if you get a can’t. Just reply with a “cool” or an “ok” to let them know you understand and keep it moving. Tomorrow is another day. Asking why will just redline the needle on the feel-o-meter and get you into personal things you don’t really need to know. Less info = Less feelings.

Lingering – This is a surefire way to get to get feelings. It’s like a mixture of all the other ways rolled into a burrito of feelings. People get lazy after sex, they want to rest and recuperate…wherever they are at. A couch, a kitchen table, a bed. It doesn’t matter, what matters is, is it your couch? Your kitchen table? Your bed? If the answer is no then you need to leave. After the sex is over you are officially intruding on your friends personal not being tied down time. The last thing you need to be doing if you’re trying to dodge feelings is getting comfortable. Yeah that bed feels like you’re in a cloud being carried by the hands of God, but you can’t stay there and in the back of your mind you know it. A wise man once told me ” Don’t ever sleep over and don’t ever let them sleep over. Once they sleep over they become real people with hopes and dreams, likes and dislikes. They’ll draw you in with info that you didn’t need to know. You’ll get caught up in them and next thing you know, you end up really liking them.” Truer words were never spoken. The longer you hang around someone you’re not trying to know the more you will know about them and if you’re the only person there for them to talk to they aren’t going to hesitate to tell you things. Especially after you just got all intimate with them. Next thing you know, bam! They are telling you their favorite skittle is the green one and coincidentally, your favorite skittle is the green one. Now you can’t eat a green skittle without thinking about “them” for a second or you think about how nice it would be to just lounge around and share green skittles together. None of those thoughts would exist if you or they didn’t hang out long enough to feel the need to confide that. The minute that sex is over you need to hot rag and hightail it out of there. Just find your pants and shirt and roll.

Enabling – Now that we’ve got all the things you shouldn’t do down, how are you gonna keep the other person from doing them too? By not enabling them. See this is where it starts and ends, by what you do when one of these infractions happen. Why does Lebron James travel three times a game, cause the refs don’t call it. Now when you watch the game and see it you don’t blame Lebron, you blame the ref for ignoring it. In your situation you are the ref and the other person is going to try to test you with violations of the rules. You let them get away with them once, they will most definitely try for twice. If you want to survive this lifestyle then you need to learn the phrase “That’s not how this works.” It’s your version of a referee whistle. Other person not leaving your bed afterwards? “That’s not how this works.” Other person invites you to their family cookout? “That’s not how this works.” Other person text you good morning? “That’s not how this works.” If they argue about the call then eject them just like a real ref, they’ll come back but they won’t try that same move again for a while. You mess around and don’t blow that whistle then you have no one to blame but yourself as you stare at your ceiling, bunched up on the edge of your bed because your friend with ‘fits is snoring, and their wild sleeping is keeping you up; or you’re the only person not smiling in a family photo with a bunch of people you just met thirty minutes ago, being disgusted by clearing your third “thinking about you!” , “my cat just did the funniest thing.” text notification. Like I said, If you don’t put a stop to it, then you’re enabling it and if you’re enabling it then you’re co-signing it.

So what do you d with the knowledge that was just bestowed upon to you? You could write it off like its not true but it’s real life happening everyday.People are out here losing friends with benefits at an alarming rate. What you should do is have a sitdown with your insignificant other and have them read this as you stare them down intently until they finish reading. When they finish reading, ask them do they understand what they just read. If they say no, make them read it over and over until they get it. If they say yes, shake hands like friends and have some casual adult activities to celebrate your new understanding of an old arrangement. Flychologist Out.